To Err is Human...

Revenge vs. Forgiveness, Tolerance and Humility

It has been said that “Revenge is a plate best served cold.” Revenge follows the idea of justice. The law of the Old Testament was “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,” meaning when injury is done, justice dictates that an equal punishment is merited. Justice is served when the punishment fits the crime.

Revenge is an attractive proposition. Our modern society thrives on the idea of revenge and justice. Most action movies turn on the idea of revenge and justice. The comic book version of the Justice League has recently been turned into a blockbuster film. But this is nothing new in Western society: our drama since the at least time of Shakespeare’s Hamlet has revolved around the idea of justice and revenge.

We live in a culture of revenge and hate where everywhere citizens demand vengeance. Angry voters want revenge against “liberal morons” and support a truly corrupt man who promises to jail his opponent. Opposition voters want revenge against the “right-wing maniacs” who elected the new tyrant. Mexicans want revenge against the Gringos who stole Texas and California. The Gringos want revenge against the Mexicans who steal their low-paying jobs.

Wars and conflicts rage around the world where mass genocide is practiced in the name of revenge. Violence is an epidemic, spread by the virus of anger and intolerance. On an average news day in Mexico, journalists are gunned down in the street in broad daylight. A doctor on an airplane who refuses to give up his seat is dragged away by armed police who break his teeth. Simply every day events, but we are accustomed to the brutality.

Everywhere the culture of hatred and anger stokes fear, intolerance, and even war and havoc. Fear and hate coupled with impatience and intolerance drive road rage, civil unrest, drive-by shootings, and terrorism. And if we turn to popular culture for relief we hear the same message repeated again and again from superhero movies to trash TV shows: “Violence is good; Violence is beautiful; Violence will set you free. Don’t get mad--get even. Revenge is a plate best served cold, but is also delicious refried or microwaved.”

By constantly seeking more and more violent solutions to every day problems we contribute to the prevailing atmosphere of violence and revenge. Tolerance and respect are no longer valued by society. One who shows respect to others is a fool, a buffoon, a “hippy,” a naive moron. We worship the slick, the hustler, the “winners.” Tolerance and respect are for “losers.” We live in a world of exploitation. Cheat or be cheated. Eat or be eaten. The law of the jungle is the law of the land. In today’s world we value the hustle, the sharp angle, the con, the “art of the deal.” Tolerance and respect are for fools and idiots. In the jungle only the strong survive.

How strange then that it is not always the strong who survive, but the cunning and deceitful. The law of the jungle doesn’t always hold true. Ecclesiastes says, “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

And even if the strong survive by the law of the jungle, there is also the law of action and reaction. Normally we think of karma in an abstract way: “Something I do now might affect me later.” But there’s also instant karma. What you do affects who you are. By following our animalistic tendencies for revenge and instant gratification, we are gradually transforming. We become what we hate. Revenge infects at an existential level. The virus passes from one enraged soul to another.

Anger contaminates the soul and the revenge virus passes from one soul to another in a raging epidemic. We’ve all seen the meme where an angry boss rebukes his employee who goes home and shouts at his wife. The wife punishes her child who hits the dog with a stick. The dog runs into the street and bites the angry boss on his way home from work. What’s round and extremely dangerous? A vicious circle. Revenge solves nothing, only continuing the chain of action and reaction, promoting the spread of the anger virus and contaminating souls in an epidemic of hate and fear.

Forgiveness on the other hand, breaks the chain of action and reaction. It is said, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” Forgiveness is divine because it exists outside the circle of crime and punishment, action and reaction. There is no reason for forgiveness. Mercy is causeless. The apostle James teaches, “Judgment has no mercy for those who show no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” James 2:13

When the enraged Parashuram revenged himself upon the military kings and princes called kshatriyas that terrorized the earth, his father Jamadagni counseled forgiveness, reminding his son: (SB 9.15.40)

क्षमया रोचते लक्ष्मीर्
ब्राह्मी सौरी यथा प्रभा
क्षमिणाम् आशु भगवांस्
तुष्यते हरिर् ईश्वरः

kṣamayā rocate lakṣmīr
brāhmī saurī yathā prabhā
kṣamiṇām āśu bhagavāṁs
tuṣyate harir īśvaraḥ

“The duty of a brāhmaṇa is to culture the quality of forgiveness, which is illuminating like the sun. The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Hari, is pleased with those who are forgiving.”

When Shridhar Maharaja counseled us in the summer of 1981 that mercy was above justice, he was not merely speaking about divine mercy. He was asking us to be forbearing with our friends, with our brothers, with our spiritual brethren. He was instructing us to forgive our brothers and sisters their trespasses against us.

It’s funny, but when we hear about mercy as a divine attribute we naturally think that it should be applied to us. Mercy is fine as long as we’re on the receiving end. I intuitively understand why God should forgive my sins just as easily as I understand why the bank should forgive my credit card debt and why the government should forgive my taxes.

The difficulty is when I am told to apply mercy to others. Why should I forgive? Why should I be merciful to others?

Forgiveness is divine since it stands outside the balanced paradigm of crime and punishment, of action and reaction. In the natural order of things, if someone insults me, I insult them. If they slap me on the cheek, I slap them back.

IN Christian theology, in the book of Matthew, Christ says: “You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.”

This is incredibly difficult to follow and easy to forget. It may be thought that this sort of sentimentality is rejected by the followers of Vedanta and the ancient wisdom traditions of India. But Chaitanya Mahaprabhu goes even further. He avers that in order to properly honor the holy name of Krishna one must be humbler than a blade of grass and more tolerant than a tree.

In his book of songs called Sharanagati, in the poem called vijñāpti, Bhaktivinoda Thakura sees forgiveness, respect, humility and tolerance as valuable goals to be achieved:

তৃনাধিক হীন, কবে নিজে মানি’,
সহিষ্নুতা-গুন হৃদোযেতে আনি’
সকলে মানদ, আপনি অমানী,
হোযে আস্বাদিব নাম-রস-সার্

tṛnādhika hīna, kabe nije māni’, sahiṣnutā-guna hṛdoyete āni’
sakale mānada, āpani amānī, hoye āswādibo nāma-rasa-sār

“Lower than a blade of grass, more tolerant than a tree. When will my mind attain this quality? Respectful to all, not expecting their honor, then shall I taste the name’s nectar sublime? When, oh when will that day be mine?”