"Where has she gone?"

नारायणं नमस्कृत्य नरं चैव नरोत्तमम्

 देवीं सरस्वतीं चैव ततो जयम् उदीरयेत्

महाभरत

Mahābharata

As retold by

Michael Dolan, B.V. Mahāyogi

Nala and Damayanti

The Magic Dwarf:
"Where has she gone?"

Brihadaswa said, “Late at night, Jivala was passing by the stables. He could see the light of a candle flickering through a window. He approached and heard the plaintiff sound of a lute, accompanied by a low, gruff voice. The dwarf was singing.

Curious, Jivala came closer to the window. He could see the dwarf playing a curious musical instrument. As he listened, he could hear Vahuka sing a sad and original ballad about a king who loses his empire. “What a strange song,” thought the king.  He walked to the door of the stables and entered quietly, but As he approached, the dwarf stopped singing and put down his lute.

“Vahuka,” said the Jivala. “Don’t stop.  I just came to sweep up the stables. I must confess, you have surprised us all. I never thought you would outrace the king of Ayodhya. And all the royal guests at court are satisfied.  The brahmanas there have never tasted such rich food. Your feast was quite a success. And they’re all talking about the horse race. I must say, you’ve made quite a reputation here in Ayodhya, my dear little dwarf. And now it turns out you play the lute. I’m sorry to interrupt, you sir. Please continue your song.”

And Vahuka the dwarf looked at his friend Jivala. He picked up his lute again. He said, “Very well, my lord. I’m not much of a singer. But my song  tells an old story. Perhaps you’ve heard it before. And he sang Jivala a strange ballad of a far off kingdom where a great and noble king ruled. He was married to a fair princess, who had chosen him from among the gods. 

He ruled peacefully for twelve years, but one day, the king broke ekadashi. and fell under the influence of a demon, Kali. Possessed by the demon he played at dice and lost his kingdom. Exiled to the forest, he abandoned his wife, was bitten by a snake-prince, and became an ugly dwarf, bound to train horses. 

When he finished Jivala was astonished.  “What could it mean?” he though. “Was Vahuka telling his life in song? Was he accursed or possessed by some strange demon?”

“That’s a strange song,” he said. “And so sad. Is this your composition?” 

Vahuka smiled. “Like most sad ballads, this one tells an unbelievable story, and yet it reminds me of someone and the melody is not without merit.”

“But you have traveled far and wide,” said Jivala, suspecting that Vahuka wasn’t telling the whole story. “Have you ever known anyone like this king who wagered his empire at dice?”

“Such things only happen in ballads, my friend”  said the mysterious dwarf. He smiled widely, showing his broken teeth between his coal black beard as he slipped the ivory plectrum between the strings and put up his lute. “I’m glad the people enjoyed the feast. What does his lordship like for breakfast?”

“It’s such a sad ballad. There must be some truth in it,” said Jivala who stood in the stable doorway, leaning on his broom.

“Well, according to the poets, the sweetest songs sing of the saddest things.”

“Yes, but the song seems personal to you. What about the dwarf?”

“Oh, the old ballads are filled with dwarfs and dragons, Nagas, yakshas and rakshasas. You mustn’t take these things seriously. Surely they have been made up by poets to scare children into going to bed early. There are many such songs.”

“Do you know any others?” said  Jivala.

“Oh, all right. If you like,” said the dwarf. He picked up his lute and took the plectrum from the strings. And once again he began to play and sing:

क्व नु सा क्षुत्पिपासार्ता श्रान्ता शेते तपस्विनी ।

स्मरन्ती तस्य मन्दस्य कं वा साद्योपतिष्ठति ॥

kva nu sā kṣutpipāsārtā śrāntā śete tapasvinī |
smarantī tasya mandasya kaṃ vā sādyopatiṣṭhati || 

“Where is she, worn and weary? Where is she, hungry and thirsty and torn by penance. Where does she rest?
Does she remember the fool who left her? And who is she serving now? O where has she gone?”

And Jivala said, “Who might be the lady’s husband?”

“The song tells of a man who lost his sense. The lady is faultless. But this fool leaves her, possessed by ghosts. And so he wanders, racked by sorrow. The wretch made false promises. He cannot rest by day or night. And so at night, he remembers her, singing this song, ‘O where has she gone?’ You want to hear the rest?”

“Play on,” said Jivala.

And taking up his theme again, Vahuka sang, 

“Having wandered the whole round world, the wretch can’t sleep at night.

His soul possessed by Kali, his mind consumed with fright.

He broods and sings this verse of grief, it gives him some relief.

‘O where O where has my lady gone; he left her like a thief

Abandoned in the forest dark, the forest lone and dread.

O where O where has my lady gone? Alive? Or is she dead?

Dead to the love that we once had, lost to beasts of prey?

O where has she gone, where does she roam?

Her lord has gone away.’”

From Mahābhārata 3.64.9–19 

11 evaṃ bruvantaṃ rājānaṃ niśāyāṃ jīvalo 'bravīt      kām enāṃ śocase nityaṃ śrotum icchāmi bāhuka  12 tam uvāca nalo rājā mandaprajñasya kasya cit      āsīd bahumatā nārī tasyā dṛḍhataraṃ ca saḥ  13 sa vai kena cid arthena tayā mando vyayujyata      viprayuktaś ca mandātmā bhramaty asukhapīḍitaḥ  14 dahyamānaḥ sa śokena divārātram atandritaḥ      niśākāle smaraṃs tasyāḥ ślokam ekaṃ sma gāyati  15 sa vai bhraman mahīṃ sarvāṃ kva cid āsādya kiṃ cana      vasaty anarhas tadduḥkhaṃ bhūya evānusaṃsmaran  16 sā tu taṃ puruṣaṃ nārī kṛcchre 'py anugatā vane      tyaktā tenālpapuṇyena duṣkaraṃ yadi jīvati  17 ekā bālānabhijñā ca mārgāṇām atathocitā      kṣutpipāsāparītā ca duṣkaraṃ yadi jīvati  18 śvāpadācarite nityaṃ vane mahati dāruṇe      tyaktā tenālpapuṇyena mandaprajñena māriṣa  19 ity evaṃ naiṣadho rājā damayantīm anusmaran      ajñātavāsam avasad rājñas tasya niveśane

11 एवं बरुवन्तं राजानं निशायां जीवलॊ ऽबरवीत      काम एनां शॊचसे नित्यं शरॊतुम इच्छामि बाहुक  12 तम उवाच नलॊ राजा मन्दप्रज्ञस्य कस्य चित      आसीद बहुमता नारी तस्या दृढतरं च सः  13 स वै केन चिद अर्थेन तया मन्दॊ वययुज्यत      विप्रयुक्तश च मन्दात्मा भरमत्य असुखपीडितः  14 दह्यमानः स शॊकेन दिवारात्रम अतन्द्रितः      निशाकाले समरंस तस्याः शलॊकम एकं सम गायति  15 स वै भरमन महीं सर्वां कव चिद आसाद्य किं चन      वसत्य अनर्हस तद्दुःखं भूय एवानुसंस्मरन  16 सा तु तं पुरुषं नारी कृच्छ्रे ऽपय अनुगता वने      तयक्ता तेनाल्पपुण्येन दुष्करं यदि जीवति  17 एका बालानभिज्ञा च मार्गाणाम अतथॊचिता      कषुत्पिपासापरीता च दुष्करं यदि जीवति  18 शवापदाचरिते नित्यं वने महति दारुणे      तयक्ता तेनाल्पपुण्येन मन्दप्रज्ञेन मारिष  19 इत्य एवं नैषधॊ राजा दमयन्तीम अनुस्मरन      अज्ञातवासम अवसद राज्ञस तस्य निवेशने